11 days old

Avery is sleeping and I have a few minutes to update/reflect before she wakes up. It's been 11 days since this wonderful bundle of joy came into our lives. Life as Robert and I know it will never be the same and that is OK. All my fears of L&D (even though it didn't even happen), having a C-section, recovery, whether or not I'd be a good mom, parenthood, etc have all gone away. I still have some moments of self doubt but if anything, I am learning to trust myself and my instinct and so far, it's working. The "baby blues" that hit after a week have seemed to vanish and I'm doing OK. My recovery with the C-section has been way better than I thought. I had fears about breastfeeding post c-section. I thought with the "unnatural" delivery of my baby that it would take my body extra time to get the message, but Friday, 3 days after delivery, my milk came in and my daughter is thriving. I thought it would be painful to nurse her but as soon as my staples came out, I can hardly tell that I have a 8-10 inch incision in my abdomen. I am meeting my baby's needs by feeding, loving, changing her when needed. She shows me that I am doing well at this because she is a HAPPY and content baby. After she eats she is so active and alert and prefers to be left in her pack & play bassinet next to the window to look at the window blinds and kick her legs. She stares endlessly at her hands and will smile without even knowing that she's doing it. Night time has been a breeze so far. She's a no-nonsense kinda gal. Last night for instance, she woke up around 2:30 after sleeping about 4 hours. I changed her, she ate and then was back asleep by 3:10. We've had 2 -3 nights where her tummy has visibly been bothering her but as soon as we can get her to "blow one out" she is miraculously "fixed" and returns to my happy, content beautiful baby girl. I am so in love with her. I am even more so in love with my husband who tells me I'm doing a good job. Knowing he is supporting me and thinking I'm doing it "right" is such a needed and welcomed calming affect on me. He has been so active in parenting for our little girl and never balks about having to help take care of her, even when she pees on him.