For now, I leave my readers with this story of poop... My buddies from the bump have already read it but for my blog readers who missed it... enjoy...
yesterday I was taking Avery's temperature up the booty. I dutifully put the cover on the thermometer, swab it in vaseline, undress her and insert the thermometer. It was like popping a balloon! Pffftttt!
She's gassy.... Ok - hope the thermometer cooperates. Turn it on - it beeps...WTF? it's in Celsius... Remove thermometer, press a few buttons to attempt to rectify the situation. Look down at Avery on the changing table, only to witness her peeing all over the place... LOVELY.
Reinsert the thermometer that is still in celsius - f-ck it, I'll convert the temp later. Beep! It starts taking the temp. Uh oh...what is that? Avery is starting to push like she's having a BM... OMG Hurry up!... Beep! 38.1 celsius...crap, that seems high... Contemplate retaking the temp... too late... Avery has started to poop. Gross!!!
Remove poop covered thermometer... attempt to catch the flowing poop in the open diaper. Oh crap (literally)... It's EVERYWHERE! I try to 'scoop' up as much as I can. wrap up the diaper and.... POOP!!!
She's not done - she completely shat all over the place...and then she peed... again.
Ok - let's clean her up now that she's REALLY done. Go to get wipes and ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? there are... count them...2 Wipes in the container... FACK!!!
She has poop in her sleeper from the 2nd 'round' - everything is soaked with pee. It has leaked on the cover and the lap pad. Of course I'm completely by myself... I attempted to get the dog to retrieve some wipes but he just looked at me like I had lost my mind and then trotted off to go eat the fresh pile of cat puke.
I wrapped her up in a receiving blanket and ran her a bath. OYE...I LOVE being a mom... Ha!
1 comment:
how is being back to work?
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